Dear Mosquitoes

Dear Thai Monster Awful Mosquitoes,

You are evil. Strait evil.  I do not know why the God of the universe invented you-- it doesn't make sense.  In face, I'm pretty sure mosquitoes were the result of Satan who was allowed to run amuck for a second to long on the face of the earth. You make me hate a place I normally love--

I go for a jog and you don't seem to be there.. and then I stop for two second to breathe or stretch and your attack my legs like a man who hasn't seen bareflesh in years.  Seriously? Why so ravenous? Haven't you enough thai people to suck blood from? Why must you attack me?! The welts you leave on my legs are so large it looks like I have fucking leprosy for heaven's sake! What must I do? You are the scourge of the earth... when the ten plauges came down from heaven i'm pretty sure they didn't mean locust.  I'm pretty sure they meant you bastards. 

And then, I lay down to sleep in seamless exhausted harmony and what do you do?  You attack my arms.  Like my legs weren't good enough for you... you had to have my beautifully tattooed arms as well? Why? WHY?! You are such assholes.  There's no point to it. Why don't YOU go to bed huh? Or better yet why don't you just lay down and die like the putrid bugs that you are! You are worthless pains in my ass.  Your only purpose on the planet is to spread fevers and diseases... how does that MAKE YOU FEEL?!  Does that make you wnat to cry?! Good.  Because every time I wake up covered in your gross welts of inhumanity I want to cry too.  I don't feel bad for you.  Not one bit.  I'm not a real buddhist... I can kill you without feeling bad.

So Mosquitoes... you have been warned of my hatred and disdain.  You have been warned of the shit storm that will rain down on you if you so much as touch me again.  I will get one of those electric fly swatter thingies and I will commit mass murder in the name of comfort and joy and all things sacred.  I will laugh as you fall down dead. I will cackle as your little fragile bodies litter the floor with my revenge. Oh you are warned.. YOU ARE WARNED.

Sincerely,

Hannah