I wrote this back in August. I suppose its more relevant now than it has even been before. There's a lot going on and updating people consistently about my brother's condition hasn't been easy but reading over my little manifesto on fear I realize how many times in the last few days I have let fear take over. Just for today I let it go.
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A Manifesto on Fear- A letter to humanity
Dear Humanity,
I want you to know that when we act in fear we are hardly ever acting in God’s will for our lives. Our fear will hold us hostage and it will keep us from loving as well and as much as we possibly could. Our fear will put up walls that our faith so easily tears down. Oh, my precious humanity, fear is the putrid vile substance that plagues us so often—it is not healthy and accomplishes nothing. Let it go for greater things. Or hold on to it for all I care, you are allowed to be afraid, but you must walk through the fear you hold or risk never changing. If we stay in fear many of us will die.
Fear has told me that the impossible is impossible. Fear tells me that when the world says “no” and that I should listen. Fear tells me that being practical is the right thing to do. Fear tells me that I should know my place. Fear tells me that I should run and hide when things get hard. Fear tells me that loving easy and loving hard will just get me hurt. Fear tells me to bolt, to run and to hold onto the anger of my past and carry it as a shield to protect my heart. Fear, quite frankly, can go fuck itself.
Fear may tell me that the impossible is impossible but faith tells me that ALL things are possible. I can move a whole damn mountain if I need to and lift it up and throw it into the sky and watch it rise as if it were a balloon. The world has told me “no” a thousand times: no- you can’t afford college, no- Thailand is unachievable, no- loving him will get you hurt, no- you cannot open yourself to new loves… you’re still hurt, no no no NO NO NO. The world is wrong. I did afford college, I did achieve Thailand… not once but three times, I have loved and I have loved well and I will love again and I will do so with all that I am and all that I know. I am capable because I have a God who is and always has been the love I have always wanted and needed. I know that with just an ounce of that love I can change the world. I will change the world mostly because I have discovered that my God is rarely practical.
My humanity, my people, my friends—when there is nothing left and it seems that only our fear is left to keep us company, we must remember that we are not alone. Fear is the old pattern of our minds looking for the infinite in our finite minds. We are incapable of defeating such fear. But a power greater than ourselves can and does often restore us to sanity. And that sanity tells me that when there is nothing left there is always something left. When the fear keeps me hostage, when it keeps me doing the same thing over and over without new results, when it tells me that familiar pain is better than unfamiliar joy… I will refuse. REFUSE. I will refuse to believe the lie. My God is stronger than a lie.
So my friends, I challenge you to look fear in the face and walk right through it. Will it be hard? Yes. Will it hurt and be uncomfortable? Yes. Will it be scary and will you often fail? Yes. But will you grow in your faith and love of yourself? Most definitely. It will be the best decision you’ve ever made for yourself. Walk through the fear—and love better, deeper and stronger than ever before. Tell the age old lie that it doesn’t deserve your attention. My dear humanity, you are worth it.
I want you to know that when we act in fear we are hardly ever acting in God’s will for our lives. Our fear will hold us hostage and it will keep us from loving as well and as much as we possibly could. Our fear will put up walls that our faith so easily tears down. Oh, my precious humanity, fear is the putrid vile substance that plagues us so often—it is not healthy and accomplishes nothing. Let it go for greater things. Or hold on to it for all I care, you are allowed to be afraid, but you must walk through the fear you hold or risk never changing. If we stay in fear many of us will die.
Fear has told me that the impossible is impossible. Fear tells me that when the world says “no” and that I should listen. Fear tells me that being practical is the right thing to do. Fear tells me that I should know my place. Fear tells me that I should run and hide when things get hard. Fear tells me that loving easy and loving hard will just get me hurt. Fear tells me to bolt, to run and to hold onto the anger of my past and carry it as a shield to protect my heart. Fear, quite frankly, can go fuck itself.
Fear may tell me that the impossible is impossible but faith tells me that ALL things are possible. I can move a whole damn mountain if I need to and lift it up and throw it into the sky and watch it rise as if it were a balloon. The world has told me “no” a thousand times: no- you can’t afford college, no- Thailand is unachievable, no- loving him will get you hurt, no- you cannot open yourself to new loves… you’re still hurt, no no no NO NO NO. The world is wrong. I did afford college, I did achieve Thailand… not once but three times, I have loved and I have loved well and I will love again and I will do so with all that I am and all that I know. I am capable because I have a God who is and always has been the love I have always wanted and needed. I know that with just an ounce of that love I can change the world. I will change the world mostly because I have discovered that my God is rarely practical.
My humanity, my people, my friends—when there is nothing left and it seems that only our fear is left to keep us company, we must remember that we are not alone. Fear is the old pattern of our minds looking for the infinite in our finite minds. We are incapable of defeating such fear. But a power greater than ourselves can and does often restore us to sanity. And that sanity tells me that when there is nothing left there is always something left. When the fear keeps me hostage, when it keeps me doing the same thing over and over without new results, when it tells me that familiar pain is better than unfamiliar joy… I will refuse. REFUSE. I will refuse to believe the lie. My God is stronger than a lie.
So my friends, I challenge you to look fear in the face and walk right through it. Will it be hard? Yes. Will it hurt and be uncomfortable? Yes. Will it be scary and will you often fail? Yes. But will you grow in your faith and love of yourself? Most definitely. It will be the best decision you’ve ever made for yourself. Walk through the fear—and love better, deeper and stronger than ever before. Tell the age old lie that it doesn’t deserve your attention. My dear humanity, you are worth it.
Well, that's just what I needed today. Thanks, Hannah.
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