Movie going seems to be such an American past time doesn’t it? I suppose for the most part it very much is. But the movie going expiernce in Thailand is a world in and of itself. To start with, movie theatres are run like actual theatres in America. Your ticket has a seat number and row letter and you sit in your assigned seat or you will face the angry frustration of your Thai counterparts.
The best part of the entire movie experience is the incredibly odd commercials. Before the movie and in between the first few movie trailers there are very interesting (read: hilarious) commercials. My personal favorite (note sarcasm) is the chili sauce commercial.
Let me play it out for you: Chili sauce used to be homemade but it took hours of labor so now why make it at home? You can buy it in a can and spend more time with your family (so far, not a bad idea) but then cartoon onions, tomatoes and hot peppers are soooo sad. They are crying and kicked out of the house because who needs fresh vegetables? We can get our Chili sauce in a can damn it!
Scene change: The onion, tomato and chili pepper are walking in the rain crying and depressed. Scene change: The hot pepper is standing on the rail of a bridge (and I shit you not) proceeds to commit suicide off the bridge. Now, call me a sensitive American but I don’t really find fresh vegetables committing suicide due to abandonment issues amusing. But no, the entire crowd in the theatre chuckles. THEY CHUCKLE at the chili pepper suicide.
So anyway, the previews are ending and you think the movie is about to start: enter in cultural craziness part two. Anthem to the king. In Thailand, everyone loves and adores the king. The thai people would be nothing without their king. They adore the king. In fact, you are forced to adore their king too. If, when hearing his anthem, you don’t stand in respect and in silence you risk being reported, arrested and deported immediately. Say one bad thing about the king: reported, arrested and deported. The king is awesome. Seriously, SO cool. So anyway, right before the movie starts they all stand in quiet reverence while a song and short little film plays honoring the king. Can you imagine if this played in America for the current president? Doesn’t matter who it is… they’ll get boos and jeers from the crowd.
The song ends and the film finally begins. Two things could happen at this point. One, you’re watching an American movie with Thai subtitles or you’re watching a Thai movie with English subtitles. If its in English then the greatest thing is hearing something funny on the movie and you start laughing—as if in perfect comedic timing three to five seconds after you laugh THEN the audience starts laughing too. Sometimes. I have found that subtitles are the death of all things funny. Or at least, subtitles are the delay of all things funny. It’s an odd sensation.
The best is when the Thai joke is lost on the American viewer. Thai movies are horrid to begin with. The film quality is usually crap, the acting leaves little to be desired and the effects (if there are any) are poop. However, occasionally you read something in the subtitles that you think was meant to be funny (mostly because the audience is laughing or chuckling) but you didn’t read a single thing that was funny on the screen. Of course, at this point, you’re referencing the chili pepper suicide and realizing that what Thais find funny and what Americans find funny are two different beasts entirely. Regardless, you usually start laughing because of the irony.
Needless to say the movie experience is a hilarious one. I’m still slightly annoyed that Cowboys & Aliens has technically been released but has not made it to the theatres because King Naresuan 4 (a historical drama of epic proportions) is in every movie theatre instead. Oh well… priorities right?
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